Larry’s Column

Imagine. You are going to meet another person, downtown, in a large city. One says, “I’ll meet you at the subway.” One person arrives at a sandwich shop while the other is waiting at the entrance to the subway train. That’s an extreme example of miscommunications that occur every day and can cause lost customers, disgruntled staff members, and badly delegated projects.

How often have you had a conversation in which you thought you stated something clearly while the other person thought they clearly got the message but what you said and what they heard was different? This type of miscommunication happens in all walks of life – in family, business, and social situations. If we are selling something, directing a project, or managing people in a task, clarity is critical to being understood. And yet, we use imprecise or ambiguous vocabulary often finding, usually too late, that the listener misunderstood what the speaker wanted to communicate.

A communications coach teaches that the two ways of increasing communication clarity are to be aware of possible gaps and to get confirmation. Realize that all people are not the same. The larger the differences the more likely there will be gaps or natural differences between people – educational gaps, cultural gaps, generational gaps, ethnicity gaps, language gaps, experience gaps, gender gaps, and geographical gaps to name a few of the more obvious gaps. To minimize miscommunication it is vital for people on both sides to be aware of possible gaps (you are a female, fifty-year-old high school graduate from a large city directing a male, twenty-something, from a small, rural community with a masters degree). Be aware of the gaps between yourself and the person you are communicating with. Choose your vocabulary carefully and those gaps will close. But don’t assume you are finished.

The final step is to confirm understanding. The communicator should gain confirmation by getting agreement from the receiver. The receiver should acknowledge the communication. If they got it right, both parties should know that the message was clearly transmitted and received; both parties should arrive at the sandwich shop for lunch.

Email Larry Galler on larry@larrygaller.com.